Transaction with the Trinity, Deal with the Devil

It's in the Underguide sonny!

So, anyway.

Prelude
It was the mid 60s. Cliff had it all. He had rock and he had roll. He had the press calling him the British Elvis Presley. He had wine, women and song. Well mostly song. In fact, almost entirely song. OK, maybe a couple of glasses of plonk during a night out with Una Stubbs. But plenty of song. Yes, Cliff had it all.

Menu of the Day

It's in the Underguide sonny!

Staff Canteen - Menu

Starter

Now the Staff Canteen fancied itself. The food was over-priced, over-rated, and over here. The jumped-up French chef could never describe a dish in a couple of words.

Instead of:
Chicken Curry

you'd get:
Breast of Free Range Chicken in Chilli, Lime and Coriander Marinade with Thai Green Vegetable Curry sauce.

Now Please Rinse Your Mouth

It's in the Underguide sonny!

So, anyway.

There I was, slightly distracted in a chair.

With a broken tooth. And a half-tooth sized gap where half my tooth wasn't. If I dared have a bacon roll for breakfast in the canteen - which I dared every morning - huge great big bits of bacon would wedge in the gap. Infact entire rashers of bacon would just disappear in amongst my molars, then fall out during progress meetings with the Customer Services manager. There would be him asking "What's wrong with these policy maturity unit statements?" and there would be me sitting - distracted - in the chair, then stopping, reaching under the desk, gobbing a sizeable sliver of Danish rindless unsmoked back into the wastepaper basket, apologising, then continuing "sorry, where were we?" by which time some other meeting attendee who'd been unconsciously sniffing the delights of the previously cooked pigs insides that were now in the bin would be suggesting "let's finish the meeting in the canteen, so we can get some tea and a bacon sarny".

The (Other) Day Princess Anne Survived

It's in the Underguide sonny!

So, anyway.

Princess Anne was on her way to an important engagement in the north of London. Her chauffeur driven black Bentley with its escort of four Police motorcycles was weaving its way through the spring Monday afternoon traffic of Southgate. The convoy turned off of the main road into a little known and little used back road which had the advantage of cutting off one junction of the North Circular. The road was clear. The entourage put their foot down. Up ahead the road widened, there was a right hander, a slightly blind right hander being as the trees lining the road were in full blossom.